I Enjoy Struggle!

When I heard "it's not struggle if I enjoy it!" fell out of my mouth the other day, I jumped and clasped my mouth! I was addicted to struggle and didn't even know it.

How could something be a struggle if I enjoy it? Yet my reality check tells me differently. There are still quite some struggling in my everyday life even though I've been focusing on ease and flow. You know how they say stop focusing on what you don't want . . . obviously it is not enough to not talk/think about it, as long as I still unconsciously enjoy it, I will continue to attract and manifest more situations for me to experience struggle.

I'm grateful for uncovering another misalignment to realign. When I find my day very trying, aside from reminding myself to be like the water in the river, check to see if I'm also "secretly" enjoying the struggle.

Uncertainty Provides Space for Exploration

If I always choose comfort and certainty, I miss out on discovering what new options are available to me. While there is a lot of comfort in familiarity because of the certainty it projects, and I go with it even if it is less than satisfactory because there is a sense of security to it. But that sense of certainty and security is really just an illusion. In this sense, when I find myself facing a choice of going down the road I am familiar with or taking the one I haven't travel, I would remind myself that uncertainty actually provides the space needed for exploration.

I Am Bigger Than My Thoughts

Now that the Giant Within me has been unlocked, a funny thing happened - I realized that I am bigger than my thoughts. In fact, it wasn't so much about unlocking the Giant Within me as it was about unlocking myself from my thoughts!

That's what all these unexplainable desires about pushing boundaries, and big lofty dreams of going to Tonga to swim with the whales and skydiving. It is my heart's way of giving me a taste of what it's like to be free of that prison, and prove to me that my thought is not my identity no matter how long I've identified myself by it. Because if it were, I'd never have swam with the whales, nor jumped out of an airplane. What holds me prisoner in my mind is my attachment to my thoughts.

The moment I realize I'm attached to any one of my thoughts is the moment that thought loses the hold on me.

Self Trust in Changing My Own Rule

Rules are not set in stone. Coming from the knowing of my vital needs empowers me to know when to change my rules to support me in getting more satisfaction. It is in this satisfaction that comes the lightness in the heart. This lightness feels so good, as if the inner happiness floodgate has been busted. I was on this natural high throughout the weekend.

Vital Needs

This week I am most grateful for uncovering my conditions for satisfaction and truly understand that those are important needs just like the need for air, water, food and sleep.

My conditions for satisfaction are:
- make sure I have a social calendar of doing fun stuff while connecting with friends and Tracy, especially during the weekends.
- make sure my commitments to my projects are met
- make sure I'm consciously planning the above 2 conditions so I'm in control of my wagon, not hanging off the back of it wondering how I got to be 3 weeks behind!

Accelerate My Forward Moving Momentum

Communicate my goals out loud and watch the world moves to support me in keeping my commitments to reach my goal. At the same time break my goal down to mini goals and put rewards in place for reaching each one.

This is my new strategy, a 2-prong approach to self supercharge in moving forward with my projects.

Engage & Disengage

Regarding my fear of falling, I finally realized it's not so much about giving up the resistance but being able to disengage from the instinctual respond of fight the fall.

And that led me to the next golden kernel, whenever I find myself not engaging, check to see if perhaps I have something else that I need to first disengage from.

Stuff vs. Experience

I discovered another silly limiting belief I had operating unconsciously - assigning a higher $-value to "stuff" I see and can hold in my hand than things like experiences. This realization led to a deeper understanding that money is just an agent in the exchange of energy.

We all have so much unique gifts to offer one another. As gifted as I am in my own specialty, I would still need other's gifts to help me experience what is outside of mine. As I allow myself the experience I also allow them to manifest their gift through facilitating my experience. Thus partaking in the flow of this grand energy exchange project call LIFE.

Intuition, Sensitivity, Vulnerability & Trust

I just realized another piece to honing my intuition, there is a direct link between my sensitivity and my intuition. I can't be holding back on one and expect the other to strengthen.

The stronger I'd like my intuition to be, the deeper I'd have to allow myself to feel and the key to be more comfortable with that is to simply trust that my heart knows. How deep I can go is dependent on how much I'm willing to be vulnerable. The ones I fully open my heart to also tend to become the most worthwhile ones.

Creating Forward

What a very powerful concept for shifting!

Whenever I am relating to someone about my day, week or month, I don't have to do it as if I'm "recording history" as I feel it. Even when asked to tell "everything" of my experience. Because when I re-tell how overwhelm, tired, frustrated, struggling, fighting or hating what I had to go through, I unknowingly re-create those as my current reality, it is no wonder I couldn't snap out of whatever funk I was in, I kept creating it. But that doesn't mean I have to deny or suppress my feelings, it is just that I actually have a fast-forward button on my "camcorder" when I replay it. I can fast-forward my "video" to parts that I feel excited, happy, grateful and a general feeling of enjoyment. And that is "creating forward".

Simple Faith

This week I'm most grateful for the realizing that I have finally unlocked the giant inside me! It is that very daring side of me that wanted to skydive for fun!

I've been on this quest for a long time, ever since I first felt the giant presence inside me, who would have thought the key to unlocking it is to jump out of an airplane?! Now it makes sense why I have this deep seated desire to skydive despite pee-in-the-pants scared. As far as big dreams go, this one was even bigger than swimming with the humpback whales in Tonga. Today I am even more a firm believer of going after any big dreams I have, especially the ones that come from deep in my heart. It doesn't matter if it sounds outrageous, far-fetch, humongous or even incomprehensible. Especially if it seems incomprehensible.

You see, it only seems incomprehensible because my mind hasn't catch up to what my heart already knows. With every dream I lived, I realize a little more power in myself, except I won't know exactly what it is until after I have done it.

I'm most grateful for the reminder of simple faith - the trust that my heart KNOWS. That simple faith gives me the courage to follow my heart, wherever uncharted ground it leads me to.

I have already jumped out of an airplane, I could do ANYTHING.