Getting Up Close and Comfortable with Money

On my recent road trip to Mount Shasta, there were 6 of us in the vehicle, the one driving said she forgot to bring change for the toll, the rest of us responded we had change, someone behind me handed me a $20 while I just pulled some change out of my wallet. I was riding shotgun. I declined her money and used mine to pay for the toll. Afterward I noticed the real reason I declined the money is that I was not comfortable with receiving money! In my manifesting abundance I have been asking for more money to come to me yet I didn't realize I was that uncomfortable receiving money. Then I realized I have condition for my receiving money; only allowing myself to receiving money I have worked very hard to earn because I bought in to the idea of believing hard earned money is the only type of money deserves of my receiving. Which totally supports the other idea, that making money and getting rich is hard. Holy smoke! This is totally not in alignment with my intention for abundance! Wanting abundance yet limiting the ways I receive abundance . . . that is SO TOTALLY CONFLICTING!

In my journey of manifesting abundance I was led to the practice of prosperity consciousness through balancing giving and receiving. So following my recent discovery on how I can get comfortable receiving money (to simply release that self imposed condition of "only hard earned money is allowed") I also realized not only I'm more comfortable giving than receiving, I have some form of a scale that I'm always unconsciously measuring internally to ensure while I allow myself to receive, that it remains a second to giving, as if "god forbids I should tip that scale receiving more than I give!". But golly! God is not judgmental, I AM ! There is NO ONE keeping score on how much I receive or how much I give, if I feel there is, it's because I AM the one that is doing the score keeping, the comparing, the judging, of myself! I can receive and give as much as I want to my heart's contend, because the balancing between giving and receiving is not about keeping a 50-50 on my giving and receiving, it is about having the same EASE in my receiving and my giving!

It feels like my sense of seeing has become more keen, allowing me to see clearly and straight through judgement, illusions and limiting believes. I'm truly ready to receive. Money does come to me QUICKLY and EASILY, from all directions through many channels in a multitude of forms, ALL THE TIME !

Boosting My Thruster

Part of my history is the limiting belief that things are hard and that life is hard. And so in my decision to recreate my future, I started to focus on ease and flow. Noticing when I'm doing something with ease and when I'm in the flow of my "doing". And also noticing when I'm not, and how I can reconnect myself back to the ease and flow. So here's my latest discovery: when the going gets tedious or becoming a chore, take a moment forward to visit the finish line then double back to where I am. Knowing exactly how much further till "done" helps charge me up and shift me out of "this is hard, when's this going to end" drama. A useful alternate to "Eyes On The Price". Also, take a moment backward to admire the work already done, celebrating "how far I've come" helps rekindle my excitement in getting to the finish line.

Respect and Honor This!

As passionate as I've been about my own continuous learning, I was quite surprised to discover I sometimes unconsciously hold back my growth so that I would not surpass my mentors or teachers, especially when they are ones I look up to. They have guided me so much in my growth it just seems wrong if I surpass them because then they would no longer be my mentor or teacher, wouldn't that be same as being ungrateful and disrespectful of me? Wait. Now that I've heard myself said that out loud, it just sounded so . . . off from the truth; in fact it does have a ring of self-imposed limitation to it. Whenever I'm holding back it just feel like something inside is not quite "right", as if a piece of me is missing. I think that's because when I am not fully engage I'm not giving 100% of myself to life. It dampens the fire burning in my heart. Having tasted many times over how delicious it is to come fully alive with passion, this feels very much like a misalignment of my mind and my heart. In fact, I think I just realized something else: those who mind my surpassing them are not truly interested in teaching me all that they know and those who truly are interested in teaching me all that they know wouldn't mind! And the best to honor them is to keep learning and growing to the best of my ability! It is in honoring myself that I too honor them and their teaching. This, feels like what true respect is about.